Reflections Ending

Chapter 13

          A series of brief moments is all that life holds. Brief moments that add together until finally the full story is told. That is how I saw my life while finding the way until my death. My life did not flash before my eyes as they say. Rather it found me with each step into the wilderness. A moment of time brought each memory that I had lost into view. A forgotten past began filter into my mind easing all the suffering that I had been through.

          I could see each of their faces and with them a thousand moments with each one. With each second that life had given me I could feel a brief emotion that I felt then. All the years of my life echoed through me in just a few short hours. I welcomed all those moments no matter how painful they entered into me. It seemed though that with each ounce of pain that withered into my soul the amount of love would never compare. However, love is such a greater feeling than pain and it lingered longer than any other emotion.

          It didn't take long to realize that they all loved me in their own special way. No matter how many lifetimes I faced or deaths that I confronted each one of them were different. It was those differences that I never realized until now that made me love them all. No matter how much pain they caused in a thousand lifetimes, I could not find it within myself to hate even one of them.

          My heart took a great hit when my son's life entered into my veins. I was not the mother that he deserved. I tried my best with every force that was inside of me pushing its way out. Being a phoenix it was fated that I wouldn't live past my eighteenth birthday. Since I had doubled that in age just so he was able to have a parent I hoped that it would be enough. It was hard to shake the thought though that perhaps he would have been better off it I had just died and stayed dead a long time ago.

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